SCHOOL JOKES QUESTION AND ANSWER Q: Why did the student throw his watch out of the school window? A: He wanted to see time fly. Q: Why do they never serve beer at a math party? A: Because you can't drink and derive... Q: What do you say when you are comforting a grammar nazi? A: There, Their, They're Q: What's another name for Santa's elves? A: Subordinate Clauses. Q: Why did the student take a ladder to school? A: Because he/she was going to high school! Q: What is Grammar? A: The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you’re shit. Q: What's a teacher's favorite nation? A: Expla-nation. Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the school dance? A: He didn't have anybody to take. (any BODY) Q: Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? A: Because it had more cents. Q: What's the difference between a dead prostitute and school? A: School still sucks! Q: What happened to the plant in math class? A: It grew square roots. Q: What is a proof? A: One-half percent of alcohol. Q: Why did the chicken cross the moebius strip? A: To get to the same side. Q: Why did the cross- eyed teacher lose her job? A: Because she couldn't control her pupils? Q: Why couldn't the moebius strip enroll at the school? A: They required an orientation. Q: How did the geography student drown? A: His grades were below C-level Q: What does a mathematician do about constipation? A: He works it out with a pencil. Q: Why is a math book always unhappy? A: Because it always has lots of problems. Q: Why don't you do arithmetic in the jungle? A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate! Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 8 9 Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? A: SWAG Q: What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A: Dam! Q: How does a math professor propose to his fiancée? A: With a polynomial ring! Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: Rubber-band -- because it streches. Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed. Q: How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? A: Romeostasis Q: What is the most erotic number? A: 2110593! Q: Why? A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3. Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher? A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without the trash bin. Q: What is non- orientable and lives in the ocean? A: Mobius Dick. Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza? A: A large pizza can feed a family of four Q: How do you call the largest accumulation point of poles? A: Warsaw! Q: What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome? A: Pull down its genes. Q: What do you call the leader of a biology gang? A: The Nucleus

MATHS JOKE Q: What happened to the plant in math class? A: It grew square roots. Q: Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? A: To get to the same side. Q: How do you make seven an even number? A: Take the s out! Q: Why should the number 288 never be mentioned? A: It's two gross. Q: Why couldn't the moebius strip enroll at the school? A: They required an orientation. Q: What does a mathematician do about constipation? A: He works it out with a pencil. Q: Why is a math book always unhappy? A: Because it always has lots of problems. Q: Why don't you do arithmetic in the jungle? A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate! Q: Why did I divide sin by tan? A: Just cos. Q: Where do math teachers go on vacation? A: To Times Square. Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 8 9

Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?" Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets jalapeno business! Son: "Mom can I get twenty bucks" Mom: Does it look like I am made of money Son: "Well isn't that what M.O.M stands for?" Q: What do you call a computer that sings? A: A-Dell Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue? A: Because he ate his food before it was cool. Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job! Top Categories:

This is the second half of the year and several music stars are increasing the tempo to ensure they end the year on a good ‘musical’ note. Some started fairly good at the beginning of the year; some started quite poorly while some have been going stronger by the day. In all, 2013 must end well for them as OLUSOLA OLUJIDE AYODELE unveils Olamide Badoo, as he is popularly referred to, has risen very fast to become one of the most sought after Hip-Hop artistes in Nigeria. He has been dropping hits from the beginning of the year till now. First was a monster hit which created a lot euphoria and esctascy with fans. The song generated so much on the airwave that telecomms giants, Etisalat, used it for one of their adverts. The song equally popularised some slangs such as ‘Are you a learner?’ He featured the energetic Koko master, D’banj, on the remix of the song. However, he didn’t drop his guard with that song, feeling he has achieved. He went further and gave his teeming fans more reasons to swam all over him. He dropped more songs such as ‘Durosoke’ On Sunday July 14, 2013; Olamide was recognised as the best rap artiste of the year. It is an award given to him by City People Entertainment.

The Federal Government has on Tuesday declared that an additional 30 billion naira has been released to the Academic Staff Union of Universities, ASUU, claiming that it is at the verge of meeting almost all the demands of the University lecturers. Disclosing this development to newsmen, Gabriel Suswam, Chairman of the National Economic Empowerment Development Strategy (NEEDS) assessment implementation committee for universities, asserted that the Ministry of Education would disburse the fund to various universities across the country for the settlement of lecturers’ allowances. In his appeal to ASUU to consider the plight of the students and that of the government, Mr. Suswam faulted the union’s earlier claims that the N100 billion disbursed to the Union by the government for infrastructures in universities was without due and prior consultation.