Thursday, 9 October 2014

YOU CAN'T GET THERE IF...

YOU CAN'T GET THERE ALONE!

The earlier you know this the better it will be for you to reach the acme, while millions of people believes they can do it all alone, they can, they can reach their dream all alone, well i wish to tell you that it is a wrong postulation about reaching your dream.

The irony of it is that wheather you like it or not, weather you include them or not, people will automatically be involve in your dream. However, the effect they 'll have on it determines wheather you chose or u were chosen. If you choose, you will have the choice of choosing those wu will help you realise your dream, so its better to choose dan to be choosen.

So, Henceforth, never have the impression of going through your dream again. doing that will be as if you ar going into a war with a whole country's army singlehandedly.

Hello audience!...op u ar feeling aiit today, and still on the quest for sucess? You well know that your sucess is our concern here so stay on the quest for sucess...while we can beg you to do dat, we still remind you thatthe choice you make now will either make or mar you later. So choose wisely!... Stay blessed!.

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

SCHOOL JOKES

QUESTION AND ANSWER

Q: Why did the student throw his watch out of the school window? A: He wanted to see time fly. Q: Why do they never serve beer at a math party? A: Because you can't drink and derive... Q: What do you say when you are comforting a grammar nazi? A: There, Their, They're Q: What's another name for Santa's elves? A: Subordinate Clauses. Q: Why did the student take a ladder to school? A: Because he/she was going to high school! Q: What is Grammar? A: The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you’re shit. Q: What's a teacher's favorite nation? A: Expla-nation. Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the school dance? A: He didn't have anybody to take. (any BODY) Q: Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? A: Because it had more cents. Q: What's the difference between a dead prostitute and school? A: School still sucks! Q: What happened to the plant in math class? A: It grew square roots. Q: What is a proof? A: One-half percent of alcohol. Q: Why did the chicken cross the moebius strip? A: To get to the same side. Q: Why did the cross- eyed teacher lose her job? A: Because she couldn't control her pupils? Q: Why couldn't the moebius strip enroll at the school? A: They required an orientation. Q: How did the geography student drown? A: His grades were below C-level Q: What does a mathematician do about constipation? A: He works it out with a pencil. Q: Why is a math book always unhappy? A: Because it always has lots of problems. Q: Why don't you do arithmetic in the jungle? A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate! Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 8 9 Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? A: SWAG Q: What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A: Dam! Q: How does a math professor propose to his fiancĂ©e? A: With a polynomial ring! Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: Rubber-band -- because it streches. Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed. Q: How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? A: Romeostasis Q: What is the most erotic number? A: 2110593! Q: Why? A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3. Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher? A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without the trash bin. Q: What is non- orientable and lives in the ocean? A: Mobius Dick. Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza? A: A large pizza can feed a family of four Q: How do you call the largest accumulation point of poles? A: Warsaw! Q: What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome? A: Pull down its genes. Q: What do you call the leader of a biology gang? A: The Nucleus

MATHS JOKE

Q: What happened to the plant in math class? A: It grew square roots. Q: Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? A: To get to the same side. Q: How do you make seven an even number? A: Take the s out! Q: Why should the number 288 never be mentioned? A: It's two gross. Q: Why couldn't the moebius strip enroll at the school? A: They required an orientation. Q: What does a mathematician do about constipation? A: He works it out with a pencil. Q: Why is a math book always unhappy? A: Because it always has lots of problems. Q: Why don't you do arithmetic in the jungle? A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate! Q: Why did I divide sin by tan? A: Just cos. Q: Where do math teachers go on vacation? A: To Times Square. Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 8 9

Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?" Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets jalapeno business! Son: "Mom can I get twenty bucks" Mom: Does it look like I am made of money Son: "Well isn't that what M.O.M stands for?" Q: What do you call a computer that sings? A: A-Dell Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue? A: Because he ate his food before it was cool. Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job! Top Categories: